A Special Year 2009

This has been an extraordinary year.
I've had many new experiences and have grown much.
I've had my first ...
labour experience!
Epidural!
Confinement!
Breastfeeding!
11months off from work!
SAHM experience!
10-day-stay in hospital ( when Hannah was ill!)
gym membership!
having a helper in the house!
travelling out of Singapore with hubby and baby!
cooking class! (Jap cusine, mind you!)
family portrait taken!
christmas with Hannah!
drawing and painting on a door!
expat friends!
meeting up with mummies over coffee!
bringing baby out on my own!
pushing the pram up and down the escalator!
driving baby around in the car!
Going public with Hannah!
being stranded in the taxi stand with baby cos nobody wanted to help us cos it was raining!

........

The list goes on.
It has been a year of challenge in many ways but through it all, I've witness God's grace and leading in our small family unit. We've got the opportunity to work together as husband and wife to take care of a little life entrusted to our hands. We've learnt to put down our wants and cater to the needs of our baby although it means lesser of what we would want to pursue. Interestingly, as time moves on, we gradually got used to the new life style and started to feel less of the sacrifice but more of the enjoyment a family unit can bring.

My eyes opened up and I saw the many treasures I have. A loving and supporting family who tries to be there for us whenever possible. ( This makes me see that we will always be our mummy's baby regardless of our age!:P) A husband who despite his faigue from work, comes home to help out so that I could take a breather to sleep or to indulge in a session of massage. A baby who despite the brawling and fussiness gives us much joy that warms our heart.

Next year... just a couple of days more... will be a whole new experience. There will be many changes and I am sure obstacles along the way.
But we know, that just like how God has led us through this year, without a moment letting go of our hands, He will do so in the next and the many to come.

BINTAN HERE WE COME

I tried to rotate this pic but failed. And I gave up without trying again! It's nice from this perspective too?!

Welcome!

At the Kelong

Baby! Look where daddy is!

Hannah's first trip!

We went BINTAN. Not too far but a BIG step cos... it's HANNAH's FIRST Trip abroad

IT was fun. I love the suite. Will (if ever) reno our house in that style and manner next time! :)

More pics When I am free!

Time Flies

This wasn't too long ago!

Cherish the treasure

"I will love you forever. "She told me without battering an eyelid or feeling bashful at all when she was a young innocent primary one child.
She was cheeky and naughty and someone you would want to just 'strangle' to keep her still and silent for a moment at times. Yet, she was made my class monitress.
She was the tallest in class and with her blond hair, she was easily spotted no matter where she tries to hide.

One assembly, I was leading the school for some singing sessions.
And I decided to call upon a brave soul to perform a simple song and and dance for the rest.
Her name was the first to come to my mind.
With all spontaneity, she rose bravely and marched up to the stage. She took centre-staged and gave a thumbs-up performance to the joy of all her classmates. She was all-smiles throughout the performance and happily trodded down the steps at the end of her debut.
I was so proud of her.

That was 8 years ago.
Who would have thought that her life will end 2 days ago.
The news shocked me.
I did not know she was suffering from Brain Aneurysem.
She succumbed the to the illness and went into a coma before leaving us.

Who would have thought that her childhood memories will never move on to her adulthood?

I wonder if I have made an impact in her short life. If I have given her the best memories she could have as a P1 child. I hope I did.

I put myself into the shoes of her mother. And my heart aches for her.
How in the world will she ever have the strength to face up to the fact that her little girl is no longer by her side. That she could never hold her, hear her, see her, hug her, kiss her, talk to her, laugh at her, reprimand her or smell her. That the many hopes that she has pinned on her child would end at that moment. That she will never find out who she will marry someday, what she will work as, how pretty she will look in her wedding dress.

I pray that God will give her family the strength to go through this period of bereavement.

Cherish every moment you have with anyone. You never know when that moment will be the last you'll ever have with him/her.

Hannah's first swim

We brought Hannah to the pool yesterday. It was great fun! I think I was more excited than her initially but I managed to rub off some excitement on her! :)

:(

J came by today and though we are more of business aquaintance, she poured out her heart to me. Well... maybe she needed an additional avenue to let that hurt and anger flow. Betrayal, hurt and simply the fact that she has sacrificed everything she had did not seem to pay off at all. My heart went out to her.



8 years of courtship, two decades of marriage... a seemingly blissful family completed with children ended with the appearance of another party. The pain in her eyes and her tone when she spoke. The hurt that she tried to conceal. The anger in her speech. My heart went out to her.



Wasn't she once a beautiful bride filled with joy in her eyes as she said that marriage vow?

Wasn't she once full of hope and pride when she presented to her parents " This is the man I want to marry."

Wasn't she the one who as a little girl looked forward to being a bride don with a long train and veil?

Wasn't she the one who was willing to give up all that she had for the family whom she was willing to lay her life down?



Something within me broke.



She regretted her decision. Felt that she did not deserve all that.

She certainly does not.



What is our world coming to?

I pray that Hannah will find someone who will stay true to her someday. That she will marry someone who will cherish her and love her not for a few decades but for as long as she lives. Someone who despite all odds, will hold on to her hand and finish the path that they vow to do so.

Seriously... if not... I'd rather she stays single and stay with me always.

It wasn't that long ago...

My Family on 9th June 2007

Ever since then... there were more additions to the family.
Chloe, my niece (16Jan 2008)
Hannah, my baby(16 Feb 2009)
The extra extra pounds I've put on since then:(

It's time to show how Hannah has grown!

To train or not to train

I finally understood Hamlet's dilemma... to be caught in between.
Well, I guess there has been sufficient theories to support both camp.
And after much disruption, we've reached a point of desperation. - Well, almost.
I thought I needed a break from the crazy bedtime (if you call it) routine.

Lie on the bed with Hannah and praying to God that she sleeps. But to my dismay she'll be tossing and turning about and playing peek-a-boo with me although her eyes are red with fatigue. Then after an hour, she finally cried and fell asleep. Carried her gingerly to her cot and keeping the house in TOTAL silence in fear that we might wake the princess up. 2 hours. We thought it's time we can go to bed. Princess brawls! Comfort her... to the brink of frustration. Slept. 2 hours...3 hours... the cycle repeats.
Verdict, no sleep for mummy. No sleep for baby. Resulted in frustrated mummy and cranky baby.

So, hoping that the training works (thanks Daze, it did! xxx)
We hardened our hearts and said goodnight and planted a million kisses on Hannah before leaving her to sleep on her own. She cried... with tears and mucus and perspiration! We took turns to comfort her every 5 minutes by telling her we are here. More kisses.
First night: 45 minutes
Second night: 30 minutes
Third night: 20 mintes
fourth night: 10 minutes
fifth night: 15 minutes
sixth night: 10 minutes.....
recently: 5 minutes or less.

WOW! I am liberated! Thank God! It is suc a joy.
But now she started to fuss in the middle of the night. 2am, 3am, 5am...
Time to train her again.
I really hope she can achieve her 12 hours of night sleep as a baby should soon.

As the bimbo in America's Top model said: Keep my fingers crossed, my toes crossed, butt cheeks crossed! ....

At long Last

It has been a long month. So much has happened I think it's surreal!
And finally the dust has settled a little ( i hope) and I can sit before the laptop to update this long forgotten blog. :) --> If anyone is still following, that is...

It started with Hannah's teething. She was really fussy and cranky. Two teeth sprouted.
Then we realised she had a growth at the side of her neck. Called the doctor thinking that it was a mump... but was advised to see a doc immediately. We rushed down to the night clinic before it closed at 9pm and was told the BAD news that it could be a lymphnode infection. Apparently, it could be a big thing if it is serious enough. And since it was already 9 odd, we were given the green light to go home to monitor Hannah till the next morning before going for an ultrasound scan.
That night was long. We were instructed to admit her straight into the hospital should she developes a fever. Thank God she did not have a rise in temperature although the sleep was very much disturbed.

The next day, we went to MT A. Saw two PDs and was told to prepare for her admission. :( Did Ultrasound, had to put her on IV. There were 4 swollen lymphnodes and among those one was the size of a ping pong ball and had pus in it. The only ways to remove the pus were: 1) antibiotics through IV 2) operate 3) Use ultrasound and syringe to remove the pus. The non-invasive was definitely the preferred one. We were told that if it showed no progress then we have to consider option 2 or 3.

We stayed 10 days in the hospital. It was crazy being cooped up in the room 24/7. Tiring to entertain her all the time and had very disturbed sleep because she had to go on type A drip every 4 hours and type B every 6 hourly. Each taking 30 mins. Hubby got to juggle work and hospital. Thank God our parents came by to help babysit and entertain her while we take a breather. We didn't have many visitors because the Doc advised against having contacts because her immunity was down and she cannot afford to be exposed to any other virus to complicate things.

Anyway to cut the long story short, we went home after 10 days. Relieved.

BUT the part 2 starts then. Hannah being so used to me in the room with her for 10 days and nights... started this 'stick to mummy' syndrome. I could not leave her an inch without her crying. We sat side by side, I stood up, she cries. I walked to kitchen, she cries. I stood to adjust the fan, she cries. It was madness. And knowing that she was still not totally well, we kind of accomodated her. I was on the verge of a mental breakdown! (well, almost :P) Goodness...

FInally somehow she became better. We decided to train her to be independent again. Then... she woke up with a fever the next day. Then she had false measles! She recovered and I was sick. I recovered and I hurt my back playing and carrying her...
WOW... That's the last thing that has happened. WE finally made it to church after a month.

It has really been non-stop action! ha...
But though these moments, Hannah has learnt to sit from lying position and now, crawl:)
She can now say mamamammamam though I think with no linkage to my identity. She can now give you a 'five' when you ask for it and she can show you what 'no-no' means. (well, she'll shake her head).

I've done up her nursery (except some parts of the door still not painted) she's sleeping in there now. Will update with a picture soon.

Till then. Thank God for He's always been around for us come what may. And I guess going through all these downs as husband and wife has made as more resilient. And we know how precious is it Hannah is to us. And we treasure support from family and friends indefinitely. :)
Kudos to you who went through that crazy moments with us.

I must blog about this.

I must just blog about this to air my anger( which has actually fizzled off)
The other day, I decided to take a cab with Hannah to Parkway for a walk before meeting hubby after his work.

So, after lunch, I put Hannah into the pram and went downstairs to hail a cab. Within minutes, a cab came along and I was rather glad because the wait wasn't long at all. But my happiness was short-lived! I beckoned the driver to wind down his window and asked if he could help me with the pram. He did not say much. Just alighted from his car and went to open the boot. What do you think you would expect him to do? Well, I don't know about you, I carried Hannah from the pram and expected him to help me with the pram. By that I meant fold the pram and put it into the boot. Well, he didn't! He stood there staring at us! I was half upset and half anxious cos the sky looked a little dark. So I carried Hannah in one arm and attempted to close up the pram with another. Of cos I did not manage to do so. And that driver just looked on! That started my blood boiling a little. I asked nicely if he could just HELP ME WITH THE PRAM. He looked at me and pursed his lips and sauntered over reluctantly. And despite my instruction of " Press this button" He kept pressing the other one that I wasn't pointing to. Which of cos did not help to fold the pram. He got upset and looked at me in disgust and anger! I got upset too and said THIS button. And he finally managed to succeed and I said 'Thanks".

When we reached parkway, there were two lanes. He dropped me at the outer lane from the entrance. I thought he would be kind enough to get the pram out from the boot and put it at the entrance for me. But NO. He took the pram out and again with great unhappiness, just left it right there behind the taxi and walked back to his driver seat with me still unsettled with Hannah in one hand, picking up the cushion of the pram he dropped (with no apologies or attempt to pick it up) and in between two cabs! There is only one phrase to best express my emotions : WA LAU!

The cab behind was kind enough to reverse so that I have more space to settle Hannah down into the pram and that thoughtless driver obviously drove off! Talk about kind gestures and world-class service! It embarrass me to acknowledge that such is our fellow Singaporean! Anyway I settled Hannah into the pram and moved towards the entrance. There were two steps leading up and I could not carry the Pram up! I asked a lady who was standing right beside me to help me. Thank God she did so. I was fuming mad by the time I got into the building.

Hello, I am not asking for much am I? All I asked is for him to realise that I cannot carry the baby and put the pram into the boot without his help. And I would expect some form of kindness, thoughtfulness or civic mindedness at least? I mean, isn't it obvious that I needed some help there?

I am not being disloyal to Singapore. I love Singapore and I am glad to be a Singaporean. But i must agree with my expat friend: That Singaporeans are not malicious. They are nice people. But generally not very thoughtful.
I add- not to strangers at least.

sigh.

lazy or bored

I am getting a little too bored with blogging already. For one, I have so many photos yet to be uploaded... so maybe it'll take a while before the blog goes into action again. In the meantime:

1) Paint Hannah's door
2) Meet up with yummy mummies
3) Learn to cook a variety of food for Hannah
4) Hit the gym with Hubby
5) Prepare for Piano and Spanish Exam
6) Shopping
7) READ
8)SCRAPBOOK

* Capitalized cos it's been a while...*

Till then. If you miss me. I might be back.

I stole this picture from Daze. It's our ladies' day out. I enjoyed myself to the max. But I must say Hannah was not very friendly... she screamed at poor Chloe and made her cry! Oh well.. maybe Hannah was just saying ' HI'. :P

Guest in the house!

"Hey!What's that?"

" Looking at me?"

Spot the flower!- 1

Spot the flower!- 2

Spot the flower!- 3

" Mummy... that flower is bigger than my face!"

" I think it is bigger than my head too."


"same hair band with this yee yee"






Yesterday my gf came to do scrapbooking for another gf's wedding. It was a good time to catch up though it took quite a bit of our brain juice! Anyway the highlight of all that was of cos the photoshoot session we had with Hannah.

View it before someone MAKE me remove them! lol

Updates

These days I am getting a tad too lazy to blog. Perhaps I am out of the house most of the time, meeting up with friends, hitting the gym... or just occupied with piano/spanish classes. Other than that, the remaining time will be for Hannah.

Just started her on Carrot puree a week or more ago. She seems to dislike it compared to rice cereal. Anyway she still ate it nevertheless. Good girl.

I am going to try pumpkin puree today. Interestingly, pumpkin can be meshed into puree with a fork after steaming it. Don't even need a food processor unlike carrot. I hope she'll like it.

Anyway some quick updates:
1) Answer to poll
- dawn feed
-breakfast
-lunch
-tea break
-dinner
-supper.
So it's 6-7 feed a day:)

2) She can turn herself over and back again now! Thank God! The nights of flipping over the overturned tortoise.. I mean baby.. is over. :P

3) will post photos SOON.

ANSWER to POLL

She shook her head! And scrunched up her face and looked at me as if I've fed her crap.

But thankfully, she's happy as a lark now whenever she sees me preparing her cereal.

Puree soon.

And congrats on those who have guessed correctly. Will the winners please stand up?

:P

More updates

Well... lots to update. Wonder which to begin with.

1) 5months old
Hannah is now 5 months old. A week or more ago, we started her with cereal and man! She loves it (after her initial response which I can't reveal till the poll is done). Then just a couple of days back, she started rejecting it. Mummy is at a loss. Anyway, I've decided to just feed a little bit again and if she still doesn't want it then we'll just wait for a couple of weeks later. Maybe it's good too. No hurry. I believe she'll know best when she's ready. The thing is she's not exactly having enough... so she's waking up in the wee hours again. Oh well.. guess I'll just enjoy moment this while I can.

2) Milk-scare
I think I was dehydrated? Or for whatever reason, I experienced a day without much milk. It came to me as a shock and I was thrown off balance. So worried that my precious will starve. (albeit her hefty 7.5kg and counting). It was at that moment that I began to 'treasure' breastfeeding again... yeah... it's an experience, once over, never return. So now, no more complains about feeding her. Enjoy it while I can. Thank God, the supply is back after I down alot alot alot of water and fish soup!

Theory behind the incident:
Well, many bf mums tell me diff stuff.
i) When you reach 4-5 months there's usually a dip.
ii) Baby once start on solid, demand falls, supply dip.
iii) dehydration and mummy's change in diet
iv) clueless

Appreciate those listening ears and advice. Some even went through the same! :) Thanks girls.

3) Bloody neck!
Yes... as you know Hannah's really fat at the neck so we usually can't see it. Recently... due to her drooling incessantly the neck area became dry and scaly. It became itchy for her. So whenever she turns to her front, she'll start scratching it. Until it bled! I nearly died when I saw some blood. When mixed with saliva it looks like blood is oozing out! Thank God it wasn't that bad a cut. But still... now we dare not put her on her own without supervision. All eyes are fixed on her fingers and neck now. That's been keeping me REALLY busy. Hope she gets well soon. Heartache.

Then again... it seems that she is totally oblivious to it. When I saw her and hugged her... I was so upset but she was smiling and cooing away happily. My baby's made of steel.

4) Me
This week's meeting with my fren has been cancelled cos she was unwell. Spanish lesson cancelled cos teacher was held up elsewhere. Piano lesson cancelled cos I can't leave Hannah unattended with her neck like that. Well, well... next week will be better. :)

ANSWER to POLL

Answer :
Less than 1 minute. She went: " ah" in an irritated tone and was instantly pacified:)

Our MRT day out and more...

After months of staying at home without too much of a social life, I've decided to go on an adventure! Not many of my friends are mummy yet. Those who are either stay too far from me or are working mums. So I decided to find new friends.

Against all hesitation and anxiety, I ventured out of my comfort zone. I decided to take Hannah on a MRT ride. Just the both of us. To meet up with a mummy friend. It was not as difficult as I thought it would be. After feeding Hannah, we took a slow stroll to the MRT station which was just a stone's throw away from my place. Then we took a train to Tampines One. Simple. Met up with my friend and her baby boy who is 2 weeks older than Hannah but at least 1.5kg heavier! Had lunch, went shopping, had coffee and cake at tea time before taking a train ride home again before the peak hour crowd came by. Hubby met us at the MRT station and gave us a ride home.

It was enjoyable and it gives that immense sense of satisfaction knowing that I have overcome the obstacle of fearing the unknown. A sense of pride knowing that I have inched closer to the great word 'INDEPENDENCE'. And of course, liberation. Being able to move out of the house definitely takes away all sense of feeling 'trapped' at home, 'losing the much-valued freedom'...
And all in all, it was a great experience. I will venture to more places soon. Probably meeting my friend at City Hall next week. :)

Independence... it is a great word. I will blog solely on that one day. Not today. More updates for today.

Hannah had her first solid! I decided to buy the rice cereal last week after her fussing in the middle of the night but I haven't mustered enough courage to kick-start the new phase until yesterday. It was a very fun experience. I only fed her a couple of mouths full and decided to stop since it was the first attempt. Hannah enjoyed it (I think...cos she was smiling and flapping her arms up and down). Today I tried again. This time finishing almost the entire portion. Well, it wasn't that much. Just one teaspoon of rice cereal with milk till watery and thin consistency. I tried it too! It wasn't too bad. Sweet and refreshing! :) I will not be increasing the amount until she's 5 months. (which is next week) And then will see how it goes along the way. So far it has been rather successful. She shows contentment with the food in her mouth. Come 6 months then my long- planned -recipe can be put into good used. Looks like we are entering a new phase again!

ANSWER to POLL

Hannah is 7.5kg. HAHAHA.... so nobody got it right since there's no such option :>

Hannah's next milestone.

Hannah is 4.5 months old to date. And here's some updates about her. (and us)

Well she can flip over onto her tummy effortlessly now. It started off as a major event that we celebrated with great joy. Then Fear. Then Fluster.
Why?
Joy: It's a new step! A new trick! A new development!
Fear: Will she suffocate? Will she get stuck in some corner? Will anything happen to her? Fall off?
Fluster: She flips non-stop! Then she will be stuck in some corner or get tired of the position and she will start screaming her head off. (" Help! I am stuck! Rescue me!" or " Hey! Somebody come and relief me of this tiring position!" or " Give me some attention. " or " I cannot turn back! Flip me back!") You get the gist.

At first it was pretty bad... she could wake up in the middle of the night to do her stunts and wail. And overcome with anxiety of her suffocating, I ran out to her and flipped her over. Only to see her smiling at me and flipping back again and again and again. She thought it was funny. ... ~bleah~ I was certainly not amused. I told her sternly it was not funny at all as I flipped her back and asked her to sleep. Surprisingly, she did.

But at least we got assured, knowing that she is capable of crying out for help. That took our worry away (a little at least). At least we know she won't be stuck and keep quiet in that position. Though, when I think about it too much, I can still get paranoid.

She is also very very aware of her environment now. So much so that everything excites her. From the fan to the air con to lights to anything else except daddy and mummy's face. So... it's pretty hard feeding her at times. She has to be 'coerced' back to the breast or bottle. Goodness... sometimes I will just cover her eyes with my palm or just pull her close. Boy! She won't succumb without a fight! She would scream and straighten her body and....

I think my angelic baby is starting to 'chut pattern' already! Soon, daddy and mummy will 'chut' ours too! The battle is about to begin.

Pictures are easier to post... take less of my brain juice yet speak volume

A whole new perspective for baby Hannah. She loves this Bumbo seat( But I prefer to call it the bobo seat)that we've got her a couple of days back. We realised that she's getting a bit restless when made to lie down most of the time. We saw her attempts to pull herself up(which she obviously could not). So we were contemplating on this. Then we met a 'new mummy friend' and she recommended it to us again. Anyway to cut the long story short, we got it. Mummy went shopping with Hannah alone and lugged the seat and pram and Hannahand diaper bag through Parkway to the carpark and home! It was quite a feat and mummy is so proud of her achievement! :)

I guess, that's life. Every new step that we take or enter into, it gives us a whole new perspective of things around us. For a little baby, it may just be the way things look like in her surrounding. For an adult, it could be the way people look, the way they view things, mindset, their thinking... Interesting isn't it? The only difference perhaps is, babies are always ready to accept these changes with no resistance rather with lots of enthusiasm and optimism. Maybe we should learn from them.

From another perspective

February 16, 2009

Vicarious Living

The thought swiftly flashed through my mind when I first saw her early that day, caught in a gaggle of giggling colleagues, fresh from the bathroom or wherever they had come from. She seemed like she was half-bursting from keeping a secret. But the thought disappeared before I even thought about it. And then later, an indiscreet colleague gave the secret away. I had to stop myself from shrieking.

After the company function we decided to take a slow walk to Parkway. The weather was perfect, with sunset hues painting a pastel background to the old condominiums that dotted the Amber Road area. Our voices were muted, excited girlish tones.

“What is it like?” that was me, barely 7 hours from touching down from London after a whirlwind Europe trip. Part of my mind was in a half-jet-lagged fog, while the other was spinning at the idea of a friend my age with a child inside of her. It’s like a whole new world, I summed it up when she too, still stunned at being two weeks pregnant, had only words of surprise, shock and a general sense of awe at what was slowly going to take over her gym rat’s body.

Motherhood!

A month went by, then two.

She got very hungry. So did I.

She felt sick and wanted to vomit. And since I was having cramps, so did I.

I almost thought I was pregnant too, somehow, vicariously.

The months went by, and her stomach grew bigger.

Still, every time we met for lunch or coffee or happened to cross paths enroute to somewhere else, the conversation would centre around the same old girlish concerns. Putting on weight, having stretch marks, overeating...perhaps there is only so much you can talk to a single 26-year-old who has neither experienced marriage nor pregnancy. While pregnancy seemed to me so much nobler than all those narcissistic concerns, she seemed almost determined to make it only a temporary pause to her gym and shopping routines.

Today, she gave birth. Two weeks ago, she had had a false alarm that got me all excited, and it was the same today during the real thing. From the time I got the first “In labour” message at 5.25 am, I couldn’t keep still, couldn’t stop thinking about her, couldn’t stop smiling, couldn’t resist running to my phone to check on it throughout the day.

My mind has been going back to the day when I first saw her. I thought she looked like an air stewardess then; I told my friend that my new colleague was really pretty. We exchanged polite nods, I think, and remained at that same cordial distance until about 2 years later, when I got used to her habits and she to my quirks. Then at some point, we were close enough to talk about God, a topic close to both our hearts. I think it probably happened over our once-a-week gym sessions. She was about to be married by then. Young, I thought.

She talked about her renovation plans for months on the bus rides to and from the gym, and then the photo shoot experience and the printing of the cards, and The Gown. They had a lovely church wedding that I missed because I was away on an escapist holiday to Taiwan, possibly the only one of the 12 weddings I really regretted missing that year. The wedding album commentary itself, however, continued for the next two weeks at her table, which was next to mine. After listening to it ad nauseum, I think I can still give a decent commentary now if I had it in front of me.

True, through her eyes and her sms-es at ungodly hours on festive occasions, I caught a glimpse of the not-so-rosy side of her seemingly-perfect life, but the fact that I was even awake at strange hours on Christmas morning doesn’t say much about me either. The bright side of my life is that I can spend (and have been spending) much of my leisure and salary shopping or reading or holed up in a private psychological bubble thinking about an assignment for days on end, without worrying about the practical needs of spouse or child or whatnot.

To whitewash everything and give either singlehood or marriage life a blanket approval is just not possible. It never was, and never will be.

And while there are times like these, when I wonder how long I will vicariously live the lives of the married and the parented, there are others when I hug my shopping bag in near delirium and point a snooty nose at a screaming brat in the middle of a shopping centre, or gaze with heartfelt pity at the sight of an emaciated mother trailing after the stroller and her husband while lugging several bags of milk bottles and other random items of motherhood.

In the last 3 days, one close friend got engaged while another became a mother. In two weeks’ time, another one is going to be a wife.

The taking on of these new roles at 27 is perhaps an accepted passage of womanhood, and while “compulsive shopper”, “the attempting to be ambidextrous one”, “new tea drinker” and "vicarious life-er" don’t have quite the noble ring to it, I guess they’ll do, for now, at least.

One thing I know that'll really cut it, though, and always has is "child of God."

Yeah. That rocks.

photos galore

Ha!!! So cute!



Check out my baby!


Happy being in her mercedes. :)


Mummy and Hannah at Gelare.


Daddy and Hannah at Gelare.


Taken at Seah Street Deli on Mother's Day:)

My Favourite dress. Made in Spain! Doesn't she look like a princess?

That's my cure for her rashes!!! Cotton wool wet with diamond water! lol... (aka SKII)


I love taking her close-up pics.


That's how cute she looks when she is fully fed and sound asleep.


Hannah wide awake! Wearing a 9mth old top!


Hannah was so sleepy when we were at marche. Daddy carried her and she dozed off abeit that awkward position.


BAD HAIR DAY!!!!